


in your darkest hour, you are lovely

by Hexx



Series: this love language is music [3]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cassian carries his past with him, F/M, Group Assignments, Jyn has a hard time confessing to her past because she is trying to escape it, Pre-Relationship, Some Backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 10:49:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15022970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hexx/pseuds/Hexx
Summary: You are the sum of all your past experiences and actions.akaJyn and Cassian finish their project, and hand over fragments of the worst of themselves to one another





	in your darkest hour, you are lovely

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the song The Grey by Icon for Hire. Because you are all your past sufferings and all your past joys all at once.
> 
> (Also I made a mistake, the lyric is darkest night not darkest hour but at this point I'm digging my heels in because you have to own your mistakes sometimes. This is what you get when you don't fact check)

“Your project is going to be very good.” Professor Imwe said, startling Jyn out of her thoughts as he glided past her in the hall. He moved like a drop of water sliding down a window pane, cutting through the crowd with his long black jacket billowing out behind him as students course corrected on autopilot at the sound of his cane on the pavement. Jyn realized belatedly that if she didn’t catch up to him at the very least she was going to be late to class. So she jogged up to his side, shifting her bag to the other shoulder and held the door open for him to the Jedha building. “Thank you.” He said, his smile that stretched across his face was effortless.

“No problem, what did you say about my project?” She asked as she followed at his heels. She and Cassian had been working on it in bits and pieces, since they had the time to take it slow. Although Jyn suspected the real reason why they were working on it so briefly and mostly via email was because the heaviness of the topic was not exactly conducive to whatever interpersonal thing they had going on.

“It is going to be very good.” Professor Imwe repeated, leading Jyn to the stairwell. He collected his cane up into one hand and then half turned, other hand extended curiously in her direction. Jyn paused for a moment, and then moved closer and allowed him to take her elbow. She gripped the railing in her free hand and led them up at a brisk pace.

“Did Cassian send you what we have so far?” Jyn asked, frowning. He hadn’t mentioned that he was going to, not that he didn’t have the right to. Though it made her uncomfortable to think that maybe he had shared that information with someone before she okayed it, even if it was with the person grading them.

“The Captain hasn’t shared anything with me.” Professor Imwe said, somehow managing to steer Jyn away from a door that almost opened into her side. “I can just tell you’re working well together. And when people work well together, they do good work.”

Jyn felt her neck get warm as a blush started to creep in, and somehow this blind man’s smile was just way too knowing and Jyn violently stamped down on her own reactions, thinking of Saw and his demands for self-control as she pulled her expression together.  Professor Imwe’s smile was smaller and a touch apologetic when she looked at him again.

“But I think it would be better if you two would share why that question was so important to you.” He said, slowing to a stop. They were just outside the classroom and Jyn was aware that they were probably late by this point. “You don’t have to tell the class…but you should tell each other.”

Jyn studied his face, searching for anything that would justify the spike of paranoia that she felt rolling under her skin. But his soft, nearly whited out eyes just drifted and he smiled in her direction, and then he reached out and touched her hand where it was still wrapped around his elbow with the most care that for a moment Jyn thought it was her father reaching to comfort her.  Maybe he could see the things Jyn has done and the things Jyn feared. But even if he could, he didn’t seem to care. She was probably imagining it but for a moment her mother’s crystal was warm against her sternum.

“Are you psychic?” Jyn asked, half whispering as she let go of him and went to pull the door to the lecture hall open. Inside students were muttering and milling, and debating on if they had class or not since there was no lecturer present. As she glanced in, Jyn made eye contact with Cassian, leaning back in his seat sipping coffee from a travel mug that had seen better days. 

“No, I just see better then you do.” Professor Imwe replied, breezing past her and down the stairs to the front of the lecture hall. “Sit back down Mara, you still have to present your project today. “

Jyn shuffled to her seat quickly while the class grumbled and settled, easing in beside Cassian while trying to look as casual as possible. She could feel Cassian’s looking at her from the corner of his eye, though he didn’t turn his head or comment. He just sat and let her settle in, energy crackling off her skin as she pulled out more pens then she needed in an attempt to look casual. While she was pulling out her notebook Cassian shifted closer, setting his coffee mug down between them.

“Are you okay?” He asked, softly enough for Jyn to barely hear it. She looked over at him and nodded.

“Yeah, I just…what are you doing tonight?” She asked, watching the way his eyebrows raised at her rushed question. She powered on before she could feel her skin get warm. “I just, I was talking with Imwe about the project, just a little bit and I think we should try to do some like…in person stuff.”

Cassian glanced up at the front of the lecture hall where Mara Jade was fighting with the projector while her partner shuffled notecards. “Okay. I’m not doing anything after class today, if you want.”

“I have one other class after this.” Jyn said, tapping her pen against the table for a moment. “I can meet you after?”

Cassian nodded again, taking another sip from his coffee before setting the cup down again with a soft thud. “Sure. You can come back to the apartment if you want, or I can just hang around campus for another couple of hours until you get done.” He dates the top of his notebook page, pencil scratching against the spiral binding as he sets it down and looks at her. Jyn can’t tell if she is imagining the way his ears turn pink or not.

It’s not that she and Cassian hadn’t talked since they woke up Sunday morning in his living room. It isn’t even like they hadn’t spent time together outside of class. If anything, they spent a lot of time together, wandering across campus together for as long as possible until their class schedules forced them to diverge, making room for one another at a table in the cafeteria while their friends (usually Han) told some near unbelievable story, sitting waterside as the cold air creeped into their bones for the sake of the stubborn geese who hadn’t migrated yet. Jyn and Cassian had easily and comfortably inserted themselves into one another’s lives on a friendly level. The issue was, that there was this undercurrent to every interaction they did that was a little more than friendly. The tension, though not always distracting, was still there. It was just different now that they were (somewhat) acknowledging it.

And with that tension came the hang ups. The mental walls and the past bad decisions that made you want to keep the worst parts of yourself hidden and protected from the other person. Which, unfortunately, was exactly the sort of thing they had decided to do their very public homework assignment on.

“I’ll come over.” Jyn says softly, smiling at him just enough to get him to smile back.

Cassian nodded and they  turned back towards the front of the room where Professor Imwe was smiling at everyone and encouraging them to be respectful of their peers, before gently jabbing the end of his cane into the shoulder of a guy in the front row who had started to snore. The kid jolted awake, startled and the class laughed and the presenter’s shoulders relaxed. As the classroom lights dimmed so the projections could be seen better, Jyn leaned towards Cassian ever so slightly.

“Hey, can I have some of your coffee?”

Cassian made a noise that bordered on a laugh while he pretended to look exasperated at her. But the quirk of his mouth and the warmth of his eyes gave him away as he took another drink of coffee before handing it over. “You can finish it.”

* * *

 

“Professor Imwe called you Captain today.” Jyn said, leaning her hip against the door frame.  She was hesitating and she knew it, she just hopped it wasn’t obvious. While she’d been in the apartment again a few times since that first weekend, her entire time in Cassian’s room culminated in walking right in and then walking right back out again for the sake of her phone battery. Being in the room with him, in the heart of his personal space, was daunting in ways she didn’t want to admit.

But it made sense, considering they were about to start unburying things that they barely wanted one another to hear, let alone Han and whomever tagged along with him when he got home.

Cassian hesitated before setting his glass down on his desk with the same kind of purposefulness that he did everything. He turned to her and crossed his arms over his chest, face neutral but his body language wary. Jyn appreciated the disheveled look his somehow instantly took on upon stepping off campus, shirt sleeves rolled up, hair rumpled, belt off.  She looked down at her feet, towing off her shoes to stop her eyes from doing anymore wandering. She heard him drop his binder on his bed and when she looked back up at him he seemed to have worked through whatever emotion he had been having.

“When I left the military, I was a Captain.” He said, tone casual as he gestured for her to come in.

Jyn stepped forward, and then with a gentle finality pulled the door shut behind her with a soft click. They regarded one another like a set of injured animals, hoping for the best and expecting the worst.

“You retired from the military, already?” She asked, trying to keep her tone light. Trying not to make a bigger deal out of the situation then it apparently was.

“No, my enlistment ended.” Cassian said, watching her as she set her bag down on the ground with her shoes, dropping her jacket on top of the pile in a heap. “I decided to go to school, rather than reup.”

Jyn nodded, stepping forward towards him slowly. This was his territory and as such she anticipated him taking the lead. When he had offered his space for this he had offered to lay his truths on the line first. She got within arm’s length, reaching out to set her own cup down on the desk beside his. His hand came up to brush against her arm, guiding her closer with a gentle tug that she allowed. For a moment they stood with their sides pressed together in a one armed hug, awkwardly riding that line between awkward and comfortable. She pressed her cheek into his shoulder, and then said “Are we sitting on the floor or on the bed.”

Cassian considered it a moment before nodding, a sensation Jyn felt against her scalp. “Bed.”

They settled in easily, Jyn leaning against his headboard with her knees pulled up towards her chest so she could rest her notebook on her thighs. Cassian sprawled out on his side across the foot of the bed, open folders and article print outs covering the space between them. The reestablished a sort of neutral tone with half conversations about their friends, other classes, new music they had heard.

Finally, Cassian dropped his head back onto the mattress and stared up at his ceiling. “‘What actions in your life will have the longest reaching consequences? How long will those effects be felt?’” He said softly, reciting their assignment prompt with the same tone one would recall a loved one’s last words.

So far for their project they had been hitting on a lot of the philosophy of time, how it is linear in fact and nonlinear in memory. They have been talking about scale, and how a mountain in your life is someone else’s mole hill. Jyn had nearly talked herself blue about sonder, and how just because it isn’t an official definition now doesn’t mean it’s inaccurate, and all words are made up and Shakespeare invented the word ‘elbow’ for fuck’s sake Cassian, people can create new words. But all together the bulk of their project was impersonal. It made good arguments for how it’s impossible to predict your own importance in the universe until after an event occurs, it asked good questions about what you consider to be consequences and accountability for your own actions. But it is almost sterile with how impersonal it was. Without their names affixed to the front page, you’d never be able to tell who had crafted the thing. Their fingerprints were nowhere near it, their DNA far removed.

Now they were deciding if they wanted to change that. And in the heavy silence that followed, Jyn felt very small.

“Before I left the military, I worked under a General in Intelligence.” Cassian said, still not looking at Jyn. “I was training…trained in interrogation, in interpretation, in infiltration.” He sounded removed, like he was talking about someone else. Like he wasn’t telling her things about him.

“Like a spy?” She asked carefully, trying not to speak too loudly. Cassian cracked a weak smile and shrugged as best as he could while lying on the flat of his back.

“A bit like a spy yeah, nothing like the movies but I’m sure you figured that.”

“Nothing is ever like the movies.” Jyn replies, trying to help keep the tension that was hanging over them from settling.

“Part of my job was to make people trust me. Tell me things, confide in me, show me their secrets.” Cassian said, carefully and this time he was really not looking at Jyn. “And part of my job was to make people go away…if I had to.”

Jyn had slid her notebook off her lap, pen rolling off the edge of the bed to the floor where it would surely be forgotten. She was leaning back now, not looking at him either. Her head was cradled against the wall, the edge of the headboard cutting into the back of her neck as she stared at the micro fractures in the ceiling. Softly, nearly to himself, Cassian went on.

“Draven taught me how to be a sniper.” Cassian said, finally turning to look at Jyn judging by the sound of body against fabric. But she kept her eyes away, not because she was afraid of what she’d see, but because she wasn’t ready to be seen. “If anything is going to outlast me, it’s going to be the fact that some family is always going to have that story of the time their father or their uncle or whomever those people were to them just suddenly dropped.”

“Draven realized that it was…getting to me. I, I know what I was doing… What we were doing was part of a bigger picture. To win the war, make the world safer…all of that. But sometimes I think about how what I did doesn’t seem to have mattered to the world as a whole, but it’s everything to those people who have died and are dying. He encouraged me to wait to reenlist, saying I can come back after I graduate. After my head is on a little straighter. And sometimes I think about how maybe that is all I can do now…it’s all I am suited for. Those things and those people are going to be with me for the rest of my life. I can’t ignore them…so how could I possible think about going on to do something else.”

And then he was silent. His words hung heavy in the air around them and Jyn wondered at how different they really were. Jyn closed her eyes and took a deep breath, tilting her chin down until she was facing Cassian again. He looked sad, contemplative, closed off in ways she hadn’t seen in recent weeks. Her mouth was open and the words were out of it before she had time to really think about it.

“My godfather raised me from the time my mother died up until about six years ago when he abandoned me in a motel. But the entire time I was with him, with Bodhi coming and going because child services never let Saw keep him more than a few months, we were political radicals and dissidents.”

Cassian’s eyebrows flew up for a moment before his face settled again. He didn’t speak, didn’t question her, just rolled a bit more onto his side to face her. Jyn took in a shaky breath, and let it out again with another rush of barely thought out words.

“I can’t talk about a lot of it, and I won’t talk about Bodhi at all because that’s not fair to him. But my godfather fancied himself something like Robin Hood, and he felt governments were corrupted cesspools strangling the life out of people and allowing corporations and others to take advantage of the weak and afraid.  So…we did things about it.”

“You were an anarchist?” Cassian asked, and the surprise he isn’t able to keep out of his voice if almost funny. And Jyn allows the soft breathy laugh, and lets it push the tension back for a few more moments.

“No, but yes? I guess? It’s very hard to explain but…but I went along with it less because I believed in what he was saying and more because I was so angry at being with him in the first place.”

Cassian was now halfway to sitting up, resting on his elbows as he watched her, eyes searching and trying to puzzle her out. He was weighing the pros and cons of asking her what that meant, she could tell. Jyn decided to just give him what he wanted, on her own terms.

“My mother was killed at a political protest. My father went basically mad with it all and disappeared off the face of the earth, dropping into a privatized R&D think-tank with limited contact to the outside world. Leaving me alone. With Saw.”

She saw the briefest look of recognition that jumped through Cassian’s eyes as his subconsciously mouthed the name ‘Saw’ back at her. And she wanted to press it, wanted to ask, but she felt the tell-tale burn in the back of her throat that came from mentioning her mother. She flopped backwards on the bed, head bouncing slightly against the pillows as she searched the ceiling again for strength.

“I think about the things we did, that I did, for what Saw and the others believed to be the greater good. I think about the people I have hurt and the things I have destroyed in the name of making the world a better place for mankind…and how I didn’t really mean it. How I hurt people because I…because I was hurt. And the world isn’t fair so when I was fourteen I tried to make it be. An eye for an eye…all that fucking bullshit.”

Mon Mothma would have been thrilled, would have been praising this kind of emotional break through.  
Jyn just wanted to die. It was out, and she can’t take it back. And this was the end of whatever it was this thing between them had been. Cassian carried around the weight of his actions trying to make the world a better place because he felt it should be better. Jyn was just a selfish child who had ruined lives. And that was only the surface level, that was only the basics of it all. She took another shuddering breath, managing to force the tears back down inside of herself. Fuck, she was tired.

“The world is shitty, so I did shitty things. And in the end all I accomplished was adding to the shit. And the fucked up thing is that now, that I’m older, I do believe that justice isn’t been honored in the world and people deserve better. But it doesn’t matter, because I don’t know how to do anything about it except make it worse.”

Cassian shifted again and Jyn looked down to see him gathering up all the papers from his bed. Her heart sank and he didn’t look at her and she decided it was probably time to go. She started to sit up, hands scrabbling for purchase as she went to push off the bed when Cassian dropped all his notes into a heap on the floor beside the bed and scooted up towards her. Jyn was stone still, watching like a deer in headlights.

With deliberate but gentle movements he wrapped an arm around her waist, securing her in her spot as he laid down beside her, not quite all the way beside her. He flopped down low, face pressed into her side. If she let her arm lay across his back his head would have nestled in the crook of her elbow. She took another stuttering breath and felt the tears start to well up again.

“Cassian, I am so tired.” She said, voice watery. This was a tenderness, an unspoken acceptance of her faults and regrets, that she just did not deserve. He moved his head against her side, something like a nod.

“I am too.” He said, voice rough with something like anguish. She slung the arm that she had been awkwardly cradling across her chest around his shoulders, as he pressed his face into her stomach.

“I’m tired.” She repeated softly and it sounded like ‘I’m sorry’. “I’m tired and I don’t have any right to be.”

“You were a child.” He counters.

“And you were a soldier.” She fires back, the part of her that always hides her hurt behind her spite trying to take control of the situation. But it dies out when he turns his face enough to make eye contact with her.

“That doesn’t make my actions justified. That doesn’t make me worthy of rest.”

Jyn’s fingers tangled in his hair of their own accord and he shut his eyes against the sensation. He huffed out a self-deprecating laugh and mumbled against her stomach something along the lines of them both being a fine mess. Jyn laughed back, eyes damp but the tears only barely spilled. She could feel his pulse beating in his wrist where it was pressed against her side, right against the skin where her shirt had ridden up. It was unexpectedly calm.

“How long will these effects be felt?” He asked her, relaxing into her as she kept moving her fingers through his hair. He shifted his hand in order to rub his thumb back and forth against her bottom rib.

Jyn let out a huff of air, buoyed by his attempt at normalcy.

* * *

 

The front door of the apartment slams and Jyn jerks awake. She half attempts to sit up, but the action is truncated as if she were tied down. For a brief heart pounding moment she forgets where she is, forgets what’s happened. And then she moves back onto her elbows and looks down.

At some point Cassian had shifted so that he was between her legs, his face pressed against her stomach and both arms wrapped around her. She feels one of his hands bunched into the back of her shirt, the other resting on her side as he cradles her. He’s murmuring protests in his sleep at her movement, waking slowly which was surprising to Jyn considering how much noise Han was making out in the hall. But then again, Cassian was probably accustomed to the noise.

He yawned against her, craning his neck so he could blink up at her. Eyes heavy with sleep he gave her a crooked smile, so honest and open that Jyn’s heart stuttered.

“Cassian, the weird hippy is over at Luke’s so Chewie and I brought pizza.” Han yelled from the other side of the door. Jyn rolled her eyes at the descriptor for Luke’s Godfather Ben, already accustomed to the complaining Han reserved just for the man. And judging by the way Cassian dropped his face down against her stomach again and groaned, he was as well.

Chewbacca said something, loud but muffled and unclear as always. His English heavily accented with his heavy Norwegian accent that made him nearly unintelligible if you hadn’t spent a lot of time with him.

“Oh, right.” Han said at a more normal volume before shouting again, “Jyn, you can have some too.”

Jyn flops back against the bed, her hands flattening over her face while she feels Cassian shake against her with laughter. She twists her leg, driving her knee into his side in retaliation. He keeps laughing as he rolls away from her, laying on his back for a moment as he wheezes.

“Thanks, Han.” She yells back, unwilling to let this become something awkward when it could be something happy. “Appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.” Han replies, sounding somewhat smug and entirely pleased. “We’re going to watch Chewie’s ice hockey something or other in the living room if you want to join.” And with that the noise of him and Chewie chatting drifted farther away, though still somewhat audible given the size of the apartment and then general volume Han always operated on.

“Mother hen.” Cassian said in a knowing tone, and Jyn giggled, remembering their past conversation about Han’s low-key smothering. They fell silent again, and for just a moment there was awkward feel to the quiet. Then Jyn sat up, and Cassian sat up and they looked at one another.

His hair was pushed in a funny direction from sleeping on it, and he gently scrapped some of the eyeliner that had smudged from her tears off her cheek.

“There is more to that story, isn’t there?” Cassian asked, eyes studying her freckles rather than stare into her eyes.

Jyn nodded, just barely leaning into his hand. He moved a bit closer to her, but their only point of contact remained his hand on her cheek.

“Mine too.” He said softly, and there was so much _promise_ in that comment that Jyn had to look at him to be sure she was understanding. Cassian was looking at her, the same way he had been looking at her before. Whatever he thought about her implied criminal background, it didn’t seem to make him think any differently of her. And she knew in her bones that what he had said didn’t change how she felt about him.

“Another time.” Jyn said firmly, pulling away in order to get to her feet. She took a deep drink from her cup for something to do while Cassian pulled himself off the bed. He checked his phone, fixed his hair, and pulled open the door before leaning on the jam and looking at her, fond and warm.

“Have you ever seen Han and Chewie watch hockey? Because Han doesn’t understand the game and always picks the team opposing Chewie just for kicks.” He said, eyes dancing as Han shrieked some sort of victory whoop in the background to punctuate his point.

Jyn shook her head. “No, it sound obnoxious and awful.” She said with a grin as she walked past him, squeezing by so that their arms brushed. They didn’t break eye contact, heads turning to watch one another until Jyn had to face forward and Cassian had to turn to follow her. “Han! What kind of pizza is it?”

“The edible kind.”

“I fucking hate you.”

“I know Erso, I know.”

* * *

 

Jyn hadn’t expected the stage freight. While she didn’t frequently speak to big crowds, she had done it. And reasonably well, if she had to judge in afterthought. But there was something about standing there beside Cassian that had left her mouth dry. The sensation hadn’t even been constant, it wasn’t like she had woken up nervous and she hadn’t been anxious when she walked in.

But then the slide popped up that asked the class to reflect on their own lives, and apply all the arguments Jyn and Cassian had presented to their own actions. “What actions in your life will have the longest reaching consequences? How long will those effects be felt?” Cassian said, looking confident and at ease as he made eye contact with the class. “What came to mind first, and how many people did it effect around you?” He glanced at Jyn, eyes carving over her and her change in body language. Saw the soft glint to her eyes and shifted forward a bit, subtly blocking her from the majority of the class.

People were murmuring to one another in discussion, some people fidgeting uncomfortably. A few, the standard set, looked bored and uninterested with the entire situation. Professor Imwe turned his face towards Jyn, and she felt like he was seeking her out. His smile was warm and encouraging, and he gave her the softest of nods.

Someone in the back of the class offered up the time he let his friend drive home drunk and now that friend is paralyzed. How it devastated the family, depressed the friend, angered the school when their baseball team started losing with the loss of their star pitcher. College scouts didn’t come to games, people missed out on their chances at athletic scholarships. “I don’t drink anymore.” He said softly, running out of steam when everyone stared.

He looked lost, red faced at having admitted something to these people with no loyalty to him, no obligation to think well of him. To protect his secret in any way. So Jyn felt herself jerk forward, nearly bumping into Cassian as she said,

“Once when I was twelve, I was afraid child services was going to take my foster brother away from me. So we stole a car and tried to drive to Canada. We ran away from my godfather, which left him in a panic that hospitalized him for a few days because he has weak lungs from inhaling too much tear gas over his life. We caused a four day man hunt. And in the end they took my brother anyway. I ruined his perfect behavior by making him end up with a carjacking charge on his juvenile record and forcing him to go through the system by himself for two years until I could find him again. I impacted my godfather’s health for the rest of his life, and saddled him with a hospital bill that was staggering.”

It wasn’t the worst thing she had done, but it was certainly one of them. And it was the first thing that had slipped out of her mouth when she saw that boy floundering. Her eyes prickled as she remembered the sight of Saw in that hospital bed, the look on Bodhi’s face as the car door was slammed in his face and he was taken away. The nine months in juvie fighting with her cell mate when nobody was watching, the cigarette burn on her shoulder blade from her first night there. She took a deep shuttering breath and closed her eyes.

Cassian was at her side, his hand wrapped around her wrist as he stood sideways to face her, again blocking her from the class as he whispered to her, asking her if she was alright, telling her to breathe, did she need air?

And then from somewhere in the classroom, someone else opened their mouth and shared a story.

* * *

 

“You did excellent work, you should be very proud.” Professor Imwe said, standing in front of the pair as the class filtered out around them. The mood was strange, everyone both liberated by admitting things they had been carrying around while equally depressed at the serious nature of the topics. People were filing out in an orderly fashion, nobody pushing or rushing. Just moving, together as one unit of people all sharing one another’s burdens.

“We kind of depressed everyone.” Jyn said, uncomfortable now that the aftershock of adrenaline had worn away. Now she was just embarrassed that she had said anything at all, and furious with herself that she had cried.

“That is the beauty of being young and in college.” Professor Imwe said, smiling serenely at the pair. “These things will not be forgotten, but they will be dulled as other things happen to take their place. It is, as you two pointed out, the nature of time when it comes to memory.” He turned his face towards Cassian, and then towards Jyn. “I picked a good team when I picked the two of you.”

Jyn felt like her mother’s crystal was warm against her skin again, and she tried not to be too sentimental about it when she asked “So we passed?”

Imwe’s laughter was loud and like the wind, somehow managing to blow the rest of the dark mood away like it was a leaf on the sidewalk. It was infectious and the three of them shared it for a few moments as the classroom finished emptying out.

“Yes, yes I would say you passed.” He replied with another good natured grin. “Good job.” And with that he turned to collect his things, leaving them together.

“Are you okay?” Cassian asked her again, softly as he looked down at her. Jyn nodded numbly.

“I wasn’t planning on doing all that.” She said, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

“I know, it wasn’t part of our script.” He said, trying to be light hearted about it. Jyn rolled her eyes and gently nudged him forward towards the door. “But really Jyn, are you okay?”

Jyn let out a sigh through her nose, leaning against his side for a moment as they turned into the hall and started walking towards her next class.

“No, but I will be.” And she smiled as Cassian looped his arm around her to give her a brief but warm side hug.

“I’m probably going to challenge Han to a beer shot gunning contest tonight though.” She admitted, laughing as Cassian dropped his arm away from her with an exaggerated groan.

**Author's Note:**

> /screams/


End file.
